Customer Etiquette

Warning- Reading this can be hazardous to your health. Please do not read if you have never worked in retail because you will not understand. Please read and comment if you are willing to take a risk.
1. I’m not a main computer, I personally don’t control all the UPC or PLUs. I don’t control what something rings up so don’t yell and scream at me. I can fix it but it always help when you are not yelling at me.
2. It is a state law for me to card you for alcohol or tobacco. I’m sorry that you maybe older than 21, but if you don’t look older than 30 I must card you or I could lose my job. If you are older than 21 and think you look older than 30 but choose not to bring you ID than I’m sorry NO ALCOHOL OR TOBACCO FOR YOU.
3. When you buy something when you get something free 90% of the time it comes off at the end of the order. You have to look on your receipt and you will find where it came off (not normally at the end). Don’t yell at your cashier because it will come off 90% of the time and for those of you that fall into the 10% see #1.
4. Cell phone! If you want to know the total of your order or if you want me to talk to you at all put down your cell phone it takes like 5 minutes to get through the register. Martha can wait to know how your Great Dane, Big George is doing in his therapy sessions. This is what you do… “sorry I’m checking out let me call you on my way home.” Feel free to talk on your phone all the way through the store. Don’t make me feel like I’m bothering you when I have to say my speech at the beginning of your order. I’m sorry to interrupt you conversion but I need your loyalty card so you don’t freak out because the prices are not right…see #1.
5. Karma Karrels…Just because you are too lazy to walk your shopping cart 10 feet to put it in the carrel because you are leaving so it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong! Well, Karma has a way of biting you in the tokus. So when you come in crying at the service desk because your white, black, red or green vehicle got damage that is karma. It take like 30 seconds to walk you cart to the carrel and walk back to your car. Always remember they should change the name of the cart carrels to Karma Karrels.
6. Utility Clerks… Utility clerks are from the age of 15 and up, so when you apply for a job as a bagger they are not looking for someone with a degree in physics, dietician degree or even common sense. Unfortunately baggers (aka utility clerks) don’t know that cans can crush things, they probably haven’t got to that part of science in their high school classes. Trained baggers are as hard to come by as trained cashiers. Since both are thrown into the job without much guidance. Baggers should know the following
i. Bread can be smashed
ii. Eggs do break
iii. Cans smash things
iv. 3 includes 1 and 2
But a little tip or advice if you will if you don’t want your smash-able items smashed then bag it yourself. It is a risk. Remember that baggers don’t want to be baggers they want to be cashiers. Cashiers want to be baggers without getting carts. No one want to get carts please refer to #5.

Thank you for your time.