bad dream

i had a terrible nightmare this morning. I had a dream that i was at a house on the beach and then there was a big wave and i held on to the doorknob and then after the wave went back then. then i open the door and then i went inside and then i tried to shut the door and there were 3 kids saying trick or treat in a scarey voice and i yelled for brother domanic(i don't have a clue) and he went over and held the door there and then the door opened up and i saw the 3 kids in nosses being hung and the rope was going high and the they were being lifted over the doorway...it was scarey.

rough draft

Maybe you never loved me
you would probably disagree.
But love is just a word
with lots of definitions unheard.
You never listened to mine
maybe I shouldn't have re-defined
all my hopes and dreams
and all that I wanted to gleam
from your love and our life.
Did you ever want me as a wife?
Maybe we will never truely agree
that maybe we were never meant to be.
But now I'm ready for my chance of hope
I am finally ready to start to cope.
To this I say You Never LOVED ME!
Now I am finally Free!
because you never loved me,
loved me, just for me!

birthday

So I had my birthday this week and well what can i say I am now 27. I was excited about my birthday and then i remembered that grandma died on my birthday last year...so when i was thinking about it...it wasn't too bad but then aunt sherry called me and they sang me happy birthday and tell me that they would be praying for my mom and then i relized that it was because of grandma not because of anything else...at least i got to go out with emi on sat and that totally rocked...i love emi...emi, adam and i went out to eat and then walked around the mall...we saw a cover wrap that was priced $520.00...NO JOKE!!! i had a great time...thank god for them...they help me keep my sanity...

let down again

I should know better than to get my hopes up. I started talking to this guy and so we started to e-mail each other over the weekend. So we decided to e-mails pic and so i e-mailed mine first and i guess i should have waited until i saw him. guys are shallow and i know this and most guys only care about the outer apprence. so i guess i am back to square one. i guess i should have just left it alone and not emailed him at all let alone my pic and now i will never hear from him and so i guess i am a little depressed but that is how the cookie crumbles. oh well

babysitting

I am going to start babysitting on mondays for gillian. I am babysitting Ava because gillian is starting school she is going back to college to get her cna. Certified nurse. I am so happy for her so since i am off on mondays i am going to watch ava because kurtis works nights and it would be hard for him to watch ava and sleep. i am excited

time to grow up...

So mom and dad are going to have to move and it scares me to death. i have lived all my life in my parents home and now i will still be there the difference is adam and i will have to pay the bills. we are hoping that they don't have to move out of state because if they do i have a feeling that we will have to move with them. it isn't like they are going to move for a few months or years this move would be for 15 years. since dads plant is closing down and he has to move or lose his job and he can't do that. it is going to be different. in 15 years i will be 42 am i going to have to live in this house till them and them have to get a home from there at the age of 42 i hope to have kids by then and be married...then what...i guess we will just have to play this by the ear since adam wants to live in london and new york...then i will have to stay here...i am just confused...it isn't a matter of if dad has to go it is the matter of when...he can't wait to long or he will not have a job...sucks...