Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
so church guy
Leave it to me to over think things. This is the story. Totally crushing on a guy at church. I finally got up enough courage up to introduce myself. Then the following week I talk to him about maybe going to get a coffee so he asks for my number so i give it to him and now...close to 2 weeks later still no call. I picked up some vibes that told me he was interested but now i'm not so sure...so that is the epic of church guy...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My happily ever after...what happen to that...
So I started reading a series of novels that all so far end happily. Okay don't get me wrong that is the way i want them to end but my problem is where is my happily ever after. After all the years watching disney and romantic movies and reading tons of books, they all have their happily ever after so where is mine. I have grown up with the ideal of what love looks like, suppose to feel like and where is my true love. After i pour my heart into a relationship that i knew was going nowhere just in search for this ideal of true love. I know that it exist because my parents have it...they love each other today more than the day they were married. But does it happen to everyone. I just want to know where my love story is...i know that i have walls up because i have been hurt but my thing is with the wall up then you don't get to know me and then it doesn't hurt when it is over. I know that i am a picky person but people have to have standards, high but not unreachable. Its not like i have a list written down and they have to meet all the requirements, its not written down and they are not requirements just what i like.
I'm just lonely. I haven't been on a date in over 4 years...I just want my happily ever after.
Where is my happily ever after...I'm waiting....
I'm just lonely. I haven't been on a date in over 4 years...I just want my happily ever after.
Where is my happily ever after...I'm waiting....
Friday, November 14, 2008
get out more...?
the one side of my brother recent texts to me...
we are both willing to help you in any way possible. I am glad o see you going out more but you need to start hanging out with some straight guy. You are the
okay. so I have decided that you must have children as soon as possible. Alot of my happiness relies on you getting kn ocked up. This has been agreed upon by me
and R. This is because you are the only shot that eitherof us have to becoming aunt and uncle. So there is alot of pressure on you. I understand this so
only hope that i have to becoming uncle A. Thats it. No other chance for me. So, you need to get working on that. Thank you
That is exactly what i am saying. More straight guys. And get knocked up. Thats not too much to ask for
i think it is a lack of effort. Put yourself out there, I am not asking for you to get married. Just knocked up :-) You need to have your gay friends hook you up with some nice fertile straight guys it wouldn't hurt to ask. You need a nice boyfriend to get you out of this slump. A nice straight fertile christian guy
Yea. Well. In a perfect world that is true. But we don't live in a perfect world. Regardless stop arguing over details. You need to get out there and take
risks. Put yourself out there and make something happen. Will you get hurt? Probably. But it goes with the territory. Every venture is a life lesson. You must
start somewhere. And the sooner you start the better. Just do it.
We were discussing things that we want from our lives. And one thing that i want more than anything else is to see you happy AND to be called uncle A.
And since R has no siblings herself out only hope for that is you. So we have decided to encourage you four our happiness :-)
Yes. So if ther is anything that we can do please let us know. And I know this might sound a little 'joke-like' but it actually isnt. So get out there and find you happiness. Find a mate. Find someone that will make you happy forever and then get pregnant so that i can become an uncle and be happy
R and my happiness is ver dependent on you being happy. So we have decided to help you in anyway possible.
we are both willing to help you in any way possible. I am glad o see you going out more but you need to start hanging out with some straight guy. You are the
okay. so I have decided that you must have children as soon as possible. Alot of my happiness relies on you getting kn ocked up. This has been agreed upon by me
and R. This is because you are the only shot that eitherof us have to becoming aunt and uncle. So there is alot of pressure on you. I understand this so
only hope that i have to becoming uncle A. Thats it. No other chance for me. So, you need to get working on that. Thank you
That is exactly what i am saying. More straight guys. And get knocked up. Thats not too much to ask for
i think it is a lack of effort. Put yourself out there, I am not asking for you to get married. Just knocked up :-) You need to have your gay friends hook you up with some nice fertile straight guys it wouldn't hurt to ask. You need a nice boyfriend to get you out of this slump. A nice straight fertile christian guy
Yea. Well. In a perfect world that is true. But we don't live in a perfect world. Regardless stop arguing over details. You need to get out there and take
risks. Put yourself out there and make something happen. Will you get hurt? Probably. But it goes with the territory. Every venture is a life lesson. You must
start somewhere. And the sooner you start the better. Just do it.
We were discussing things that we want from our lives. And one thing that i want more than anything else is to see you happy AND to be called uncle A.
And since R has no siblings herself out only hope for that is you. So we have decided to encourage you four our happiness :-)
Yes. So if ther is anything that we can do please let us know. And I know this might sound a little 'joke-like' but it actually isnt. So get out there and find you happiness. Find a mate. Find someone that will make you happy forever and then get pregnant so that i can become an uncle and be happy
R and my happiness is ver dependent on you being happy. So we have decided to help you in anyway possible.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
early morning text
so i got a text this morning from my brother this morning and he is concerned with happiness. i have been going out more but this isn't what he was meaning...my friend that i have been hanging out with is gay. i do need to date...more...to just date. the thing is i am happy maybe i do need to find someone but i don't know...he said that his happines depends on it because he wants kids to call him uncle adam...which will be uncle bubbie. i love him and now since it concerns me now.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I may be fat but at least I'm happy!!!
okay so it has taken me 28 years to be comfortable with my weight with that being said. Today at church my pastor talked about being healthy and getting into shape because our bodies are temples for the Lord. I know this and after years and years of dieting and trying to lose weight i can't so I gave it to God. I told God that I am who he made me. I found that God gave me peace and let me start to love myself for being me the very beautiful, curvey, intelligent women. So my favorite author right now is Jennifer Weiner and she wrote a great book entitled Good in bed. Her heroine is a plus size women and she has also finally made peace with that fact and has decided to get on with her life. I found several parts of this book were enpowering to me as a women and a plus size gal.
1.The Quote: 'Men don't like fat women. And even thought this world would turn out not to be absolutely true-there would be men who would love me, and there would be people that would respect me-I carried his words into my adulthood like a prophecy, viewing the world through the prism of my body, and my father's prediction.'
--->My father never said those words to me but it was a boy from school that made me realize that i was in fact 'fat'. I will carry those words with me forever. 'Your just a fat, ugly bitch', wow, what words came out of this childs mouth. I was in 3rd grade. I will remember that day forever and I hope none of my children will go through this.
2.The Quote: 'These were a thousand words that could have described me-smart, funny, kind, generous. But the word I picked - the word that I believed the world had picked for me - was fat.'
--->Hello, I am fat! I know that i am fat, so i don't like anyone laughing or making rude comment because i have eat too. Just because the world choose word and make it sound ugly, mean and nasty doesn't mean that you have to take it that way. You know i may be fat, but at least i am happy.
3.The Quote: 'The truth is this-I'm all right the way I am. I was all right, all along. I will never be thin, but I will be happy. I will love myself, and my body, for what it can do-because it is strong enough to lift, to walk, to ride a bicycle up a hill, to embrace the people I love and hold them fully, and to nurture a new life. i will love myself because I am sturdy. Because I did not-will not-break.'
--->This is my quote for my life right now. 'I will love myself', I may be fat but I refuse to believe that I am ugly and stupid. My body is strong and I will survive. I may not be a size 8 or be the tall, all legs blonde, but i am beautiful because I Broke the Mold.
4.The Quote: 'And, ultimately, I learned, there is comfort. Comfort in reaching out to the peole who love you, comfort in asking for help, and in realizing, finally, that I am valued, treasured, loved, even if I am never going to be smaller than a size sixteen, even if my story doesn't have the Hollywood-perfect happy ending where I lose sixty pounds and Prince Charming decides that he loves me after all.'
--->Have you ever had an ahha moment, i just had one. In college I was sitting at a table with a group of fellow teachers when I told one of them that I valued them, and I truely did/do. And she told me that she valued me and I never believed her until now. She truely meant what she said and wow I can actually see that now. Anyway on with my first thought, Hollywood has made everything so thin in society, it makes me sick. When I go to the movies, yes I want to be entertained but it helps if I can related and I can't relate to skinny girls getting called fat and crying. Show me a true women with meat and lets see it play out with the real thing. I am looking for my Prince Charming that is true, who isn't. but he is going to have to like me for me and not what I could be or could look like. He will like me for me and just because it is me.
This book has helped me through the process of excepting me for me, which is 28 years in the making. Girls should never feel ashamed because they are overweigh you are who you are because God made you that way.
1.The Quote: 'Men don't like fat women. And even thought this world would turn out not to be absolutely true-there would be men who would love me, and there would be people that would respect me-I carried his words into my adulthood like a prophecy, viewing the world through the prism of my body, and my father's prediction.'
--->My father never said those words to me but it was a boy from school that made me realize that i was in fact 'fat'. I will carry those words with me forever. 'Your just a fat, ugly bitch', wow, what words came out of this childs mouth. I was in 3rd grade. I will remember that day forever and I hope none of my children will go through this.
2.The Quote: 'These were a thousand words that could have described me-smart, funny, kind, generous. But the word I picked - the word that I believed the world had picked for me - was fat.'
--->Hello, I am fat! I know that i am fat, so i don't like anyone laughing or making rude comment because i have eat too. Just because the world choose word and make it sound ugly, mean and nasty doesn't mean that you have to take it that way. You know i may be fat, but at least i am happy.
3.The Quote: 'The truth is this-I'm all right the way I am. I was all right, all along. I will never be thin, but I will be happy. I will love myself, and my body, for what it can do-because it is strong enough to lift, to walk, to ride a bicycle up a hill, to embrace the people I love and hold them fully, and to nurture a new life. i will love myself because I am sturdy. Because I did not-will not-break.'
--->This is my quote for my life right now. 'I will love myself', I may be fat but I refuse to believe that I am ugly and stupid. My body is strong and I will survive. I may not be a size 8 or be the tall, all legs blonde, but i am beautiful because I Broke the Mold.
4.The Quote: 'And, ultimately, I learned, there is comfort. Comfort in reaching out to the peole who love you, comfort in asking for help, and in realizing, finally, that I am valued, treasured, loved, even if I am never going to be smaller than a size sixteen, even if my story doesn't have the Hollywood-perfect happy ending where I lose sixty pounds and Prince Charming decides that he loves me after all.'
--->Have you ever had an ahha moment, i just had one. In college I was sitting at a table with a group of fellow teachers when I told one of them that I valued them, and I truely did/do. And she told me that she valued me and I never believed her until now. She truely meant what she said and wow I can actually see that now. Anyway on with my first thought, Hollywood has made everything so thin in society, it makes me sick. When I go to the movies, yes I want to be entertained but it helps if I can related and I can't relate to skinny girls getting called fat and crying. Show me a true women with meat and lets see it play out with the real thing. I am looking for my Prince Charming that is true, who isn't. but he is going to have to like me for me and not what I could be or could look like. He will like me for me and just because it is me.
This book has helped me through the process of excepting me for me, which is 28 years in the making. Girls should never feel ashamed because they are overweigh you are who you are because God made you that way.
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