5/30

I had to go to a meeting for work. Our store is getting a brand new check cashing policy and process since we now just their ssn and dln now they will have to enroll their finger print and ssn, dln, employer name, supervisor, and phone #. technology is great...it will be intresting next few days, week, month...oh well
other than that i just cleaned my room...it needed it but i guess i should go to bed now...

Sorry

I think that is a word that i use too much. I am sorry. I'm sorry. I bet i say that at least a million times a day. But when you think about it what does it really mean to be sorry. I tell people all the time that i am sorry that this rang up wrong (like i have controll of it) but it is something that i have to say. So when you are truely sorry most people don't believe you. I am totally going to go off subject here. I am thinking about someones relationship that didn't work out and i am truely sorry that it fell to pieces but i told this person all about her and how she was have a hard to with a recent breakup but he didn't listen. And that makes me feel so sorry for him. And as i am thinking about why his relationship didn't work out I start to think about why i haven't been in a relationship lately. I am so f*ckin scared. I have always been afraid of rejection. I hate that feeling and in order to date you have to be willing to put yourself on the line for rejection. I am not sure if i am ready for that. Don't get me wrong i would love to go out on a date because i am so lonely but it scares me to think what happens if this person doesn't like me like that or what happens if i have a great time and they don't. i know that you can't live your life being afraid. I have lots of friends don't get me wrong i am not lonely like that. I spend a lot of time with my friends. But most my friends have others and i don't, that makes me a third wheel in everything except when it comes to my best friend...her husband is the third wheel...lol. I like that everyone likes me but noone likes me like that. I had a single male friend once, but he started dating someone. I just feel so lonely and it is not for a friend it is for the companionship of someone of the opposite sex. I long to be kissed again, hold hands again, talk to someone on the phone about nothing. I miss someone to hold me to touch me to feel me. But it seems that their is noone out there for me. I understand that it is when you least expect it, it will happen but i just wished it was sooner. I just wished i was not so scared to put myself out there. I have put myself out there and told someone things i would not tell anyone else, but that added up to not. I will i know how to move on with life and start a new life. how can you start again with you heart a million pieces. How can you pick up those pieces and move on with life. I wish i knew...sorry...lol

Cheating

What would you do if you got cheated on?
How would you act?
How could you forgive them?
Do you give them a second chance?
What would you do?
I know that saying 'once a cheater always a cheater' but does anyone believe that?

So I know someone that has cheated on her boyfriend. So at first I thought I should tell him because it is going to come out one way or another, better sooner than later. But someone else was going to tell and he thought about it and decided no he wasn't going to tell. There are two ways to tell people things, first out of pure consern and second out of pure in your face. I think that i could tell him in the first way but i think since this sitation doesn't concern me that i will just let sleeping dogs lay. Sorry!

Questions

Have you ever felt that no-one understands you?
No-one really cares about you?
That you are alone in this over populated world?
What am I doing wrong?
I can't change me! I am who I am...

5/25

So I had to work today...totally sucked. But I went to the movies with Adam and Rach. I love my brother. I don't think he understands how much i love him. He is one of my best friends(i only have two...gilla and adam). I think it is amazing he can be so sweet and loving and then be a totally butt...but that is just him.
We went and saw Pirates III. It was GREAT! there is totally going to be a fourth.lol...

Excited

I got my new mp3 player today. So i have been messing around with it. I should really be in bed, but i have been putting new music and pictures and trying to figure out how to put videos on it... I am so excited...just though it was blog worthy

stolen car

So bub and I were at work and we ran inside for crab dip and crackers and when we came back around the side of the building, someone had stolen his car. He left the windows down and the keys in the front sit. At first it seemed like a joke but no really someone stole his car. He called poppie and then the cops. The cops took all the information down and then told us that they would call if they found it. We left and drove around to gas stations (because his car was on E) but didn't see it. So we came home. After a few minutes of being here he got the call from the cops. Apparently whom ever stole it had already switched the plates out, and was driving to dump the stuff out of the back. The cops pulled him over and he ALMOST hit a pole(thank God he didn't). They got him out at gun point and had to drag him out of the car. I hope everything is alright with the car but that is an end to a very uneventful day.