Sick

So I have been sick for about a week and that totally sucks. I have been running a fever coughing and my nose is running like no other... I am feeling better today so I guess that is good since i have been sick since last sunday. i still have a horrible cough and my nose is still running. My ears got water in them and now one of my ears i can't hear out of but it is a little better since i put drops in them. I guess i am on my way to being the normal me...lol..anyway

So a lot has happened

Jd and cherellie had a baby...finally. She is a cute little girl. 8lbs 10oz and 21.5 inches long.
My dad's uncle passed away this morning. He had cancer that we just found out about a few days ago. And it was worse than the doctors thought. So i have to go to a funeral on thursday. so i had to get my schedule changed so i can go to the funeral.
I am sick thank god that i am off work and tomorrow so i am hoping i get filling better today and tomorrow. i have a terrible cough and my nose is running like none other.
Amber came by to see me at work yesterday. she is sad because she wants adam back. and as i know that will never happen. she has hurt adam badly and adam will NEVER take her back but she doesn't think that this is true she thinks that rach will break up with adam and adam will go back to her. because girls never stay forever with their first boyfriends. so basically i just let her vent and then she left.

lonely again

So I really felt like a third wheel tonight. it is hard to be the only one of your friends that doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband. so when i got to kroger adam and rach were all over each other and so was jd and cherellie...so i felt so out of place. so i went inside because i felt i was in the way...i normally don't feel like that...but normally they don't hang and kiss like that so i felt like they wanted to be alone...and that kinda hurt...i am lonely but that just isn't something i can fix right now...i am 26 living at home with my parents i broke up with my last boyfriend but still don't feel right... i am not sure why i have not dated..i think i am a little scared that i will end up the same way so i feel like i am saving me and the other party involved a lot of heartache...it is tough to see my brother and his girlfriend hanging all over each other and knowing that he had his heart broke and he just bounced back and got back in another relationship i don't know how he can do it...but he is a guy maybe that is it...i don't know...i feel like i am not complete...i am missing something and i don't know if it is something that someone else has or if it is something my ex has...i know that i broke up with him but i think it hurt me more...he was my first true love and i thought we would be together forever( i am glad i was wrong) but i gave him my heart without a thought and now i regret giving it to anyone...i don't know...i don't like to feel like a third wheel but that is how i felt tonight and so now i feel ugly and lonely...

Job Application

So today was the first time i put an application in for a job. I am not sure why i haven't done this before now but i did it now...so now i have to do is wait and see...and keep my eyes open for other opportunities...

Jazz Fest

So today I got to spend the day with Adam and Rach. It was a lot of fun. We went to the IMA and spent a lot of time there and then we went out to eat. We went to buca de bepo and that was awesome. We then went to military park for the jazz fest with was so awesome. There is nothing i know that i could compare it to it was that great.
i had a great day with bub and rach.

Dream

So I had a dream last night about my ex. now normally when i have a dream about him i see him within a few days. that makes me uneasy. I am not sure why i have that feeling about it but everytime i see him i get this wierd feeling. I am not sure if it is because deep down inside i still love him or if it is because i broke his heart. I didn't mean to and i know it was self-centered but i did i broke up with him and i am not sure why i think about it all the time. i broke up with him 3 years ago and i am not over it and i don't know why. i have not even been on a date since him. i am afraid of getting that close to someone again. he knew all my secrets and when i broke up with him i was so scared that he was going to tell everyone about my secret but he didn't. But i guess he has moved on and i have not but i don't know how to move on...i mean i broke up with him and i seem to be the only one that got hurt... it has been 3 years but i don't think that right now in my life i could give myself like that. i don't have it in my possessions to be able to give it to anyone...so how do i get it back...it all boils down to one word....rejection

Drive In

So Jd, Cherellie, adam, rach and I went to the drive in tonight to see Sherk 3. And what I could hear of it, it was great. There was this car that park one spot over from us and things were great until their friends showed up in the middle of the movie. So we didn't have a speaker box because ours was broken but we figured it wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't until the second car showed up. There was several parts of the movie I had no idea what was going on because they were talking over the speakers. So almost the end of the movie one girl screams about how this can't be the end of the movie(if they would have been there at the begining of the movie then they would have known). It was a double feature and I honestly thought about(as we were driving away...since we all have seen PiratesIII) screaming the ending to them and totally ruin the movie for them like they ruined it for us...but i didn't...oh well